Am I invisible?
Author: Jenny T
We are trying to cope with menopause symptoms and we are trying to be, and feel, normal. We are trying to go about our daily routine without having a meltdown or bursting into tears, or by staying on the sofa because the other option is Just Too Hard.
But how do we appear when we venture out? Out to the supermarket, out to a casual lunch, our even ‘out out’ where we make a special effort and put on a dress and do our hair and put a little more lipstick on than normal? And then when we have made an effort – and even smiled at the reflection in the mirror – to the people we see ‘out out’ are we actually invisible? No-one wolf whistles. No-one takes another look. No-one’s eyes follow you across the room like they used to. When did THAT stop? Let’s face it, it ain’t coming back…
So – those days are over (though if it does happen RELISH in it.) We’re not invisible, but we are not 20 with pert breasts and those arms, and flicky, flicky hair (this person is called The Gazelle and she plonks herself next to me at yoga). We’re still gorgeous (inside and out) but not to ‘the other people’. We must face it, and we must get over it. Because we all have adoring fans who need us, to whom we are not invisible, to whom we matter very, very much, and who think we are beautiful / funny / clever. These people are friends and family. And these people are our future.
So it’s time to cull. It’s time to get rid of what makes us feel bad and concentrate only on what makes us feel good.
I was feeling very yucky, and quite podgy, and most lethargic and definitely unattractive. I stopped alcohol and carbs to see where that got me and I definitely feel – and look – better. I’m still invisible to the outside world but my friends and family have noticed and that’s what matters. But what matters most is I feel better. I did it for me, and me is happy with that.
You’ll know the people who love you for you. Your family, your best friends. And you love you, right? Surround yourself with ‘you’ and with friends and family who make you feel good.
And do some of this:
1. Change things that make you feel bad / blobby / unhealthy.
2. Chuck out clothes that make you look saggy, baggy and old. Or clothes that are too tight, too unsuitable. It’s better to wear a few stylish, flattering, things often. And colour. Don’t hide in black, bring colour back into your life. It’s liberating.
3. Stop eating rubbish and try some healthy options. It not only shows on the outside but it’s so good for your insides too. Start now.
4. Up your exercise – BeingEve has some great exercise if you can’t face the gym. Try and up your routine by 50% and see how you feel. 100% and see how you feel. You’ll definitely feel, and look, better, and this in itself will propel you on.
5. Make sure you sleep properly. Try the before bedtime routine – relaxing bath, no screen time an hour before bed and no alcohol. Try and get 8 hours. Again, it will show in your face and you will feel better.
6. Get a good haircut and hair colour. Makes a huge difference.
7. Get a decent mirror, or DO NOT look in the magnifying mirror just before you leave the house!
8. Try a new, bright, lipstick, be daring, why not?
9. And SMILE. Smile from the inside because you are being the best you can be. Smile at everyone, it’s infectious.
10. Note the occasions in the week that make you feel happy. Post yoga, after a long bath, or a long country walk, cuddling your dog/cat/lover/child, eating a healthy meal, coming home after exercise to your family, seeing a friend who needs you. Write down the ‘happy’ times and, it’s this simple, do them more often!
Listen to yourself. Listen to your body. And take your own advice.
Go on, try it, you’re amazing. Not invisible. Not in the slightest. Not to your loved ones, the ones who matter.