Hot flushes, memory loss and THAT hair on the chin!

hot flushes, memory loss

Author: Jenny T

This month, our resident blogger Jenny T opens up about hot flushes, memory loss and THAT hair on the chin!  

OK ladies. We’re allowed to talk about it. And it’s best we do. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that. And, as we know, these sandwich years of ours are new phenomena – we’re in the menopause and it’s fairly likely that our parents are still around, but elderly, and our kids, if we’ve been lucky enough to have them, are either late teenagers or early twenties, and ever-more demanding of our time, energy and cash.

The Rage comes from nowhere, and is uncontrollable. I think the Menopause Rage is worse than Road Rage, and that in itself is a weird set of events that no-one really understands. And The Rage is usually followed by a hot flush….best to try and avoid ‘The Rage’ potential situations. Mine are any calls about PPI or the accident I didn’t have. Or any visits to Sports Direct or Vodafone. Just keep me away from there.

The Hot Flushes are renowned, and not really a surprise to anyone. These are coupled with The Night Sweats. Same. Wake up soaked in the middle of the night. Dull. If there’s another person in the bed they don’t understand – to them you are your own central heating system, a hot one, that leaks – and stinks. Smelly old boiler person. Nice.

The Hot Flushes hit you in public places, in meetings, in shops, and you can’t do anything. You can’t pretend you’re normal, you can’t pretend nothing’s happening. So what do you do? I say ‘Sorry, Hot Flush’. But is that PC? Or do you just ‘leave’ without an explanation? I’ve done that. I’ve left my basket/trolley in the Washing Powder aisle and vacated the premises.

Itchy skin and spots are now ‘the norm’. I used to have beautiful skin (darling). It’s your biggest organ. So when it starts itching or flaking – for no apparent reason – this is not good. Rashes appear in weird places, seemingly from no-where. Spots? What are they? Why are we getting spots now? Goodness. I still put toothpaste on them. And it still works. I keep looking at the Very Expensive Creams but do they work? Does anyone know? Am I worth it, when my son needs new trainers?

Oh and our feet. Lordy. Bunions. Corns. Dry heels. Veins sticking out, plus the feet, since kids, seem to have splurged sideways. I used to have such pretty feet. Now I have skanky toes, and practically no toenails on my big toes. Even if I could wear heels, I can’t. And all my pretty summer shoes are in the back of the wardrobe because my skanky toes just ain’t being exposed. Period. (Can I say ‘period’ out of context these days?)

But who needs to worry about that? I spend an extraordinary amount of any spare time I have (not a lot) in front of a magnifying mirror pulling hairs out of my face and chin. Big black ones. And when I can’t get to my mirror I spend time running my fingertips over them and trying to pull them out with my crumbled fingernails. YUCK. It’s best not to look in a magnifying mirror. It’s also best not to try anything on in Marks & Spencer. Their mirrors give you cellulite. It’s a fact.

Oh, and I can’t remember anything. Going upstairs is no longer ‘what did I come up here for’ and going back downstairs to remember. It’s repeating the same thing THREE TIMES and still not remembering. I have to write everything down, and now I photograph the list on my phone because I forget the list. I can’t remember words. At all. So I’m always describing the word and saying rubbish like ‘it begins with an ‘O’’ when it begins with an ‘A’. Oh and making up new words. That. Don’t. Exist.

Anyway. BeingEve is helping. And talking to my girlfriends is helping. Yoga is helping, and going to the gym – gently – is helping. I’m about to try Artichoke Tea so I’ll let you know. And I have bought Magnesium because everyone says it’s good and helps – so I’ll let you know.


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