Hot flush madness – how to keep cool as the temperature soars

How to deal with the summer heat

Author: Jenny T

This month, our resident blogger Jenny T gives some tips on how to keep cool as the temperature soars. 

This heatwave is not helping my already overheating body, I don’t know about you. My body is like a furnace. I am burning up. I don’t feel hot on the outside, just hot from within, like bubbling lava is going to explode out of my orifices at any time.

I used to love sitting in the sun, but now I seek shade. When visiting a restaurant or at a friendly BBQ, I will rearrange my people so that I am away from the sunlight, ensuring my face is not in that ball of fire. And we don’t seem to have much in the way of aircon, our electric fans are either non-existent, or VERY noisy, and we don’t have a handy swimming pool to jump into. I used to count ‘a good Summer’ by the number of Roof Down Days in my car. No longer. You may be a hot Summer, dear weather, but I haven’t had my roof down since you came to visit.

The hot partner can go away. Of course I want him in our bed. But I want a wind tunnel passing between us. Duvet on, duvet off, duvet on, duvet off. And the mere slightest touch of skin-on-skin (his not mine) causes a slight rage. It’s like he’s individually just put the heating up.

Coping strategy? Move to Iceland (the country not the King Prawn Ring supplier). No, that’s not going to work, and it’s only temporary, right? Surely soon we will just be restored to Hot Flush insanity, not this constant competing from Hot Inside Body with Hot Flash madness?

My handbag is now reminiscent of when I had small children – packed full of handy things to cope with this situation. A cooling spray, a peppermint roller ball to dab on the back of my neck and wrists to cool me down, dry wipes in case I perspire, a rolled up straw hat to seek refuge and a pretty hand fan, which sure does help to cool the head, and, if you go bright red in the heat you can hide behind it, in a coy fashion…why don’t we all have one? They do in the Med. They have whole ‘fan shops’ in the Med.

Other suggestions include keeping a box of mini magnums in the freezer. Not only delicious but you can get past the ‘Oh they’re bad for you’ because they are mini and cool you down in this heat, all over from the inside, so they are GOOD for you. And of course a full bag of ice is paramount to surviving but only when placed in a light-coloured rosé wine.

The roof will stay up and the one guaranteed place for aircon is in that saloon. I even drive to the corner shop now…to top up with ice cream and rosé of course.

So the solution? Go sleep in the car. With the magnums and the rosé and the ice of course, roof up, aircon on. SWEET.

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